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tellingIf I press my ear against my arm I hear the metallic hum of white noise;
press it hard enough and it will buzz uninterrupted, the steady red
light of a cigarette that indicates she is watching you. I am here
to feel your eyes on me, the tingle in the center of your palm,
to tell you about the space between my words, of the space between us that becomes
so tempting to infuse with color, the red which runs beneath the bite of winter snow.
you drum the beat into your body because you cannot get enough. you love her
because your heart is not enough, because the stammer of your words will outdo
the finality of your hesitation and even the permanence of silence-
I am here,
I am here
I am here
to refrain from relative happiness- to feel the pleasure of thought running
through my mind; to develop a handwriting as cursive as my memory,
slanted as the sun. maybe I may be something other than what I say
at daybreak, what I will say breaking in the morning into day
like a pair of new
five hour energyi suppose
last week was only an aftershock
of the earthquake you were before.
this place used to vibrate
with metal strings and melodic,
testimonies to life,
emitting coffee-scented moods
and the burn of it too.
i had memorized the
sounds of silence,
i couldn't help but relish it.
no longer had i known
the sounds of folk
and scent of mocha-
you became nothing more
than an echo of the laughter
i so desperately needed to hear again.
then the echoes got louder,
bouncing ferociously off the walls
to be made manifest
i walked into your room
expecting exactly what i found-
an unmade bed,
and an empty beer
(the one that you insisted you needed
just days ago).
i pressed my nose
into the pillow
for incense and cologne and starbucks
to penetrate my mind
and thinking fervently
i already know
what a clean sheet smells like."
how strong an aftershock can be,
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More